venice gets a queen

I've been listening to a lot of RHCP lately.

"Don't call me dude, man, or homie. I'm not a surfer, a hippie, or a gangster disciple."

--Mr. Y, the power trippin' English substitute

I really felt my full 18 years of life today. The sub gave us "four simple rules" and actually yelled "Hey!" to get everybody quiet at the beginning of class because Molly and a few others were still finishing their sentences when the bell rang. During his amazingly straight-faced delivery of the above quotation, I had to work really, really hard to contain my laughter. So did everybody else. I could feel the nervous, silly energy of the room. Gangster disciple? How do people even think of these things? I wonder how long he practiced his little speech in the mirror. Alona told me he gave the same speech during her Advanced Comp class.

Today I realized that I still have a 'C' in Calculus despite the horrible test. This gives me hope. Hope is a good thing, but it muddles my decision to drop Calc next semester. Hope makes me want to prove myself to myself. And the fact that "proving myself" really means 'Destination B-minus' doesn't depress me anymore.

I got my acceptance letter from IU today. I didn't start jumping around (I still can't explain why I did this when I got accepted to Purdue, except maybe at that point in the school year I was not yet too sleep-deprived to feel college-euphoria, even hometown-college-euphoria), but I'm pretty happy. Now I have MORE FORMS TO FILL OUT, HURRAH! But these are good forms because they're Honors College scholarship forms, and college money of any sort is welcome.

I wish I didn't have to wait till April to know about Kenyon. I love Kenyon so, so, so much. But I feel confident in my ability to love IU if I need to do so. I should make an "official" visit there; I went to Bloomington quite a while ago and barely got out of the car (we were passing through). I really need to know what is going on. I could love both campuses simultaneously (and let's not forget Carleton, Earlham, and Northwestern [a long shot]!), but I'm so flustered and stressed already and devotion is a funny thing.