sidewalksparkle: (Default)
I just realized that people have left me notes on the entries that are not friends-only, the last of which having been written back in February. I've been making most entries friends-only for well over a year and never really said anything! I really hate LJ politics and "friends-only" entries and "add me and I'll add you back" exchanges because I really just like writing things my friends can read and reading the things my friends write, but here I am writing this entry. This journal is mostly friends-only because I like knowing who might be reading my thoughts. If you'd like to be one of those people, just let me know. Chances are it'll work out fine.



Mar. 2nd, 2007 06:32 pm
sidewalksparkle: (hills are alive)
I love the rain here.

However, I hope it doesn't last long because I am going to Wales tomorrow! It will only take a few hours by train. It's crazy to think of being able to leave the country in such a short and nonchalant fashion.

And my people come from Wales! Well, some of them anyway. The parts of my paternal grandfather which were not Cherokee were Welsh.

The only good part about the self-loathing that comes from my procrastination is the great elation that occurs when I dig myself out of the tunnel. I have recently freed myself from a paper. The mediocrity is staggering, but I'm done and life is good again.

OK, time to go buy fish! Well, time to go watch Rebecca buy fish...I am not hungry.
sidewalksparkle: (the great pumpkin)
There is no US Bank location at home, so all of my money except for $2.18 is in the account I can access easily here. A perfect scenario, except I forgot that my $9.99/month eMusic subscription comes out of my US Bank account. The charge has showed up on my available balance, but it hasn't shown in my actual balance. I just called US Bank customer service, and a chipper man who kept calling me "ma'am" informed me that I will indeed be getting an overdraft charge at about 9 a.m. tomorrow morning. The only way to avoid this charge would be to somehow convince eMusic to delay the transaction, but it's already gone through and there is no phone number listed on their website.

I am so frustrated! I try to be really responsible with money, and this is such a dumb little thing that is causing me so much stress. The charge will apparently be no more than $35 (which is weird--I feel like I have friends who've been charged more), but that's quite a chunk when you think of it in terms of books or Goodwill clothes or cheap alcohol or Christmas presents, and quite a small but needed amount when you consider the value of the British pound.

So now I have to get up early tomorrow to wire money from one bank account to the other, and even that won't prevent the charge--I'll still have to spend money simply because I spent money I do have from a location which happened not to have it any more.

The weird thing is, as upset as I am about the money, I am even more upset over the fact that I have to wait until tomorrow to get everything straightened out. Until then, I have this weird debt floating over me. I really need to try not to think about this until I can actually do something, but it's difficult to stop obsessing over how frustrated I am and how ridiculous I feel. I've done everything I can do: I called customer service, I switched my eMusic payments to the account that actually has money so this won't happen again, I told my parents what had happened and asked for their advice, and I looked into all my options and found one that happens to not take effect until tomorrow morning. And I still can't stop wondering how much the charge will be and freaking out about all this unfinished dinner.


Aug. 15th, 2006 04:48 pm
sidewalksparkle: (the most perfect & unexpected ___!!!)
From Jens Lekman's "Small Talk" section on his website:

"Oct 22nd - Richmond

woke up early, went to see the 40 year old virgin. it was pretty funny. then off to the Earlham College. holy shit, those kids were dancing. it was one of the funniest and sweetest shows i've ever played."

Amazing. Hell yeah we were dancing!
sidewalksparkle: (paint)
I keep pressing my headphones with my fingers until the song fills up all the space in my head. Today feels like Spring and it is sunny and beautiful and music is the most exciting thing in the world because I can think of a person or a memory and whatever is in my ears becomes that thought. I am thinking with my ears.


Jan. 7th, 2005 02:14 pm
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
Oooh look, I've got a new webpage layout! There isn't a whole lot there, but considering nothing was there but an excerpt from T.S. Eliot since this summer, I'm happy. And the main image is a happy memory--the luminaria lighting at Earlham. Dark, mysterious figures = Marina and Quaker Dan.
sidewalksparkle: (flowers)
(from [ profile] abulia)

1. On your current playlist, hit shuffle and pick the first twenty-five songs on the list (no matter how cheesy or embarrassing).
(i skipped anything i didn't know well enough to identify later.)
2. Write down one (or two) line(s) of the song. Try to avoid lines that include the title.
3. Have your friends comment and see if they know the songs.
4. When someone guesses correctly, strike out the line and list the correct name of the song next to it. (Guessing correctly means the name of the song and *an* artist who has recorded that song. Some of the ones on my playlist were covers of other songs, but I'm not expecting you to randomly be able to guess the right version.)

1. Fiona Apple - "Love Ridden" - guessed by [ profile] streaks
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when it's over

2. The Beatles - "Back in the USSR" - guessed by [ profile] forboston
Take me to your daddy’s farm
Let me hear your balalaikas ringing out

3. 10,000 Maniacs - "Trouble Me" - guessed by [ profile] untouchablegrac
Speak to me...don't mislead me, the calm I feel means a storm is swelling

4. Jill Scott - "The Way" - guessed by [ profile] bravestgirl
Made me some breakfast, toast, 2 scrambled eggs, grits

5. Nellie McKay - "Change the World" - guessed by [ profile] bravestgirl
oh, self discovery
what joy it is

The forecast is good
The kids are melting in the doorway

7. Godspell - "Light of the World" - guessed by [ profile] crocea
But if that salt has lost its flavor, it ain't got much in its favor

8. Sleater-Kinney - "Combat Rock" - guessed by [ profile] forboston
Dissent's not treason but they talk like it's the same

The sidewalk bends where your house ends like the neighborhood is on its knees

10. Belle & Sebastian - "Simple Things" - guessed by [ profile] yo_y_la_luna
If you want me all you have to do
Is ask a thousand questions

Read the letter you got from the memory girl
But it takes more than this to make sense of the day

12. Patty Griffin - "Mil Besos" - guessed by [ profile] crocea
Yo sé que en los mil besos
que te he dado en la boca
se me fue el corazón;

13. Alanis Morissette - "Your Congratulations" - guessed by [ profile] spotmonk
And I would've sung so loudly
it would have cracked myself

14. Sleater-Kinney - "Prisstina" - guessed by [ profile] forboston
While the other girls fondled their dates
She fooled around with her Bunsen plate

15. Simon and Garfunkel - "El Condor Pasa" - guessed by [ profile] awakeningdancer
Away, I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here and gone

16. Alanis Morissette - "All I Really Want" - guessed by [ profile] sockfu
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for awhile

17. Rocky Horror Picture Show - "Super Heroes" - guessed by [ profile] untouchablegrac
But all I know is down inside I'm bleeding

18. Nellie McKay - "Ding Dong" - guessed by [ profile] fiddlinfreak
My cat died and I quickly poured myself some gin
Did she die of old age or was it for my sins?

19. Dave Matthews Band - "Pay For What You Get" - guessed by [ profile] lovelylight, even though she cheated a little :-)
Everybody asks me how she's doing, since she went away
I said, I couldn't tell you, I'm ok

20. Sarah McLachlan - "Hold On" - guessed by [ profile] crocea
I lie awake and pray
that you'll be strong tomorrow

21. Fiona Apple - "Paper Bag" - guessed by [ profile] streaks
I said, "Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void"

Hangin' out with Lars on 6th street he knew I was in trouble I was feeling much like the devil

23. Carole King - "It's Too Late" - guessed by [ profile] seasons
One of us is changing
Or maybe we just stopped trying

24. The Streets - "Sharp Darts" - guessed by [ profile] letterbox
Do you understand?
Or do you need an interpreter?

25. Jars of Clay - "Can't Erase It" - guessed by [ profile] awakeningdancer
Follow the crowd and love everybody now
sidewalksparkle: (patty griffin (from cover art))
Take Judy, with her bow and arrow, she's a mastermind
Too frumpy for the teenage population of her time
Car coat, she has a quilted jacket with a hood if it rains
Big pockets for the pharmaceuticals she takes to fix her brain

--Belle & Sebastian, "The Rollercoaster Ride"

If I had a beautiful singing voice (how I wish), I think I would write a lot of songs and learn to play the guitar really well. And then I would do an experiment. I'd try to get some rich person to be my patron, like the old days, and then I'd take a year to travel all over the world as cheaply as possible, just showing up unexpectedly to play songs anywhere the fancy struck me. I'd travel the continents very methodically, and if anybody wanted to give me some publicity I'd accept the offer. However, I would never get an agent or try to book shows in special locations. I'd be curious to see if I could get any sort of following or fame just by traveling around and letting people listen to me. I wonder if some dude in Idaho would be talking on AIM to a friend in California and they would both have seen this random girl playing music out of nowhere and realize she was the same person. This experiment would be liking forcing serendipity on the whole world. And even if I stayed completely unknown and ignored, it would be really fun to have a year of travel.

Friday = love.


Nov. 2nd, 2004 06:05 pm
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
I'm so nervous it's like I'm waiting to find out whether or not I got elected president. It goes without saying that so much hinges on this day. I just got back from doing door-to-door canvassing in Dayton with Emma, Evelyn, and Cole, and I am totally exhausted. Talking to individual people who, by this point, have voted for Kerry, have voted for Bush, or have not voted at all was absolutely terrifying. If the Last Call weekend with VoteMob was exhilarating, today was terrifying. I don't know what I'm going to do if Kerry doesn't take Ohio. It's easy to prematurely project the feeling of empowerment that comes from working on a campaign with like-minded people onto some false idea of the spirit of this nation.

Today has been so rainy and dark and busy; everything feels like a mess.

All that is left for me to do is to take a shower, bring the snacks I've bought over to LBC for the Election Night Party (hopefully it'll end up a party), and wait.

(There's still a bit of time left to vote.)


Nov. 1st, 2004 11:21 pm
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
I am currently wrapped in a vicious cycle: I'm very nervous and excited about Election Day, and I'm having trouble focusing on my War and Gender paper--it's due tomorrow by 4 pm and I've barely started. On the flip side, if I want to be able to go canvassing in Dayton tomorrow, I have to be ready to go by 8:30 am, which means I'll need to have finished the paper and gotten a bit of sleep before then. I really need to focus on one thing at once. It shouldn't be impossible!

Tonight I watched the Jackson Katz documentary "Tough Guise," about violence, the perception of manliness, and our society. This is the first day of Rape Awareness Week. If I could, I would write my War and Gender paper on the film.

Unrelated to the first two paragraphs, sometimes I think I am either not perceptive enough or so hyper-perceptive that I'm not quite living the way I should be. Then again, the idea is yet another perception.


So incredibly nervous about tomorrow. ComeonKerry,comeonpleasepleaseplease. Have we done enough?
sidewalksparkle: (flowers)

It feels like it's been grey and rainy forever. Yesterday was the only sunny day in a long time. Usually I enjoy this sort of glum weather, but the potential for coziness definitely hasn't been reached, and I feel so lazy.

(The construction area is so muddy! This shot was taken from the window above my roommate's desk. Usually I shoot pictures from the window next to mine.)
sidewalksparkle: (lamp + hand)
Hey, Peter Pan
I'm going home now
I've done all I can
Besides I'm grown now
I'll think of you all painted with the night
You sit and watch from somewhere
As one by one the lights go out

Patty Griffin, "Peter Pan"

Apparently the construction was really loud early this morning, but all I heard was what sounded like my roommate putting laundry into crinkly plastic bags. There was a light on in the room, too. Maybe I was confused. A few hours later there was loud thunder and it was time to get up. I wore a longsleeved shirt and a sweater and a rain jacket and hiking socks and corduroy pants and sturdy shoes and a scarf and gloves and held my umbrella. Everybody's shuffling around.

I can't wait to go to Cincinnati for Last Call, the overnight voter-canvassing extravaganza. It's what I'm looking forward to most, as far as specific events go. I want a lot of things that don't fit on calendars, but this is something definite and real. Of course, the entire point of the whole trip is that the election is still up in the air. It's really stressing me out.

I think something bad will happen if I don't get a lot of sleep tonight. I don't mean that I have some delusional sixth sense, convinced that my behavior will control natural disasters or something. I mean that I will get sick/depressed/behind in class/even more exhausted. I need to snap out of it. "It" being everything, I guess!
sidewalksparkle: (lamp + hand)
(Found through [ profile] padraiceen.)
As if there weren't already enough reasons to be a Sarah McLachlan fan: World on Fire.
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
...the hell of computer science turned into a slightly toasty limbo, and it took less than an hour-and-a-half. And the LLC dinner/reflection presentation was delicious and meaningful, with many fantastic projects presented. It was nice to be in the house of settled-down people, eating real food and talking. Wilson Hall had midnight cookies at 11:15 p.m. Cole, Evelyn, Maureen, Dan, and I became appliances. Sadly, Evelyn the Blender shut down.

It is all real! Real as in, I can hear taste touch smell see it.

And even that which is not real, or not yet real, has a carved-out home in my mind.
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
Jess ([ profile] phosphodae) linked to a funny/disturbing fundamentalist Christian teaching site in a recent entry...lots of stuff about the earth being less than 10,000 years old, the T-Rex on Noah's Ark, Nabu the (assumed Hindu) elephant who's "lost count" of his gods, Hopsiah the Kanga-Jew, etc. I followed links to what is quite possibly the most hilarious rant against infant baptism I've ever read. Granted, I haven't read many, but it is a RAP to the beat of "Baby Got Back"! It's so funny that I don't even feel annoyed with the purpose of the site--I was baptised as a baby and see it more as a symbol. I'm pretty sure my parents weren't thinking, "Hey, maybe we can save our daughter from hell by baptising her before she understands what's going on! Bwahahhawahhahaaa!!!!" And anyway, that's not the point.

The point is, you don't want to miss "Baby Got Baptism"! You should also read the preface to the lyrics, under the heading "Paedobaptism is 'wack'". "Do not be put off by the unusual spelling; it is part of the hip-hop vernacular."


Oct. 12th, 2004 09:55 pm
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
Lately when I am really really ridiculously excited and energized I feel the urge to curse and use alliteration.

So tonight I saw the fucking fantastic "Iron Jawed Angels", about the portion of the journey to win suffrage rights fought by Alice Paul and the National Women's Party. It was amazing. I can't even explain how inspired and invigorated I feel. Emma and I were absolutely gushing as we trekked through the rain back to Wilson. I wish we could say we stomped in puddles and yelled one-liners and hugged a lot, but there was too much to say. And right when I got home I typed the movie into IMDB and also googled Alice Paul and Lucy Burns, since I realized I didn't know a lot about them--that's how impressed I was.

The best way to watch a movie is with an enthusiastic audience. There was loud applause and cheering, general comments of appreciation for the absolutely awesome cast, people complaining when Woodrow Wilson wouldn't much energy in the lecture hall. It was an experiencing rather than a viewing. I'm really glad the Womyn's Center (and a bunch of other organizations) hosted this film.

It's so infuriating that women even had to fight at all just to be able to vote. But it is because they did that we can vote today. And we should. Vote.

too much

Oct. 4th, 2004 08:33 pm
sidewalksparkle: (lamp + hand)
I finally found a website with a listing of the off-campus May Term opportunities and didn't really see anything I liked (the selection seems heavily related to biology and conservation, which are interesting topics but not what I want to do in another country for a month). Then I clicked on "Turkey" and found this amazing traditional arts program that sounds like a perfect, blissful way to spend a month. Calligraphy! Marbling! Weaving! Dyeing! Individual work with a Turkish craftsperson! Writing! Then I scrolled down a bit further and saw the cost. It's a lot more than any of the other programs I read about...($2635 + $250 school enrollment fees + $100 visa + $800 for the flights). I could spend my life savings and still be very far from having enough.

Well, at least I had a couple of very exciting, happy minutes.
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
It was so wonderful to see my family; we had a fabulous, relaxed time. I was so happy. They took me places! In a car! Places like restaurants, stores, the Fairfield Inn...I got a new water bottle to replace my lost one and blue tights and other fun-ness. The concert on Saturday night was amazing--there are such talented people here. And my family really liked college meeting for worship, too.

On Friday night Becca stayed with us in the dorm. I wish I could have showed her a typical weekend night for me, but since so many people were with their families, we ended up walking to the coffeeshop at 11:30 that night, sharing a strawberry smoothie, and talking for an hour about stuff you can't think to say in letters or on the phone. We laughed so much. She's so awesome.

Now I am swamped with work, but it was worth it. I loved having visitors. Now I'm really excited about going home this Thursday for mid-semester break. Whoa, it's mid-semester already?

I'm a little glum now, but it doesn't feel like homesickness. I think all the stuff that's in the back of my mind can be really good but it can also be really worrisome, and being alone in a room just pushes it to the forefront. Oh well. Also, I had two separate incidents make me angry today (read: hurt my feelings, which for some reason I hate admitting) and I handled neither of them properly (read: assertively).

Soon I'm going to do a picture entry, because I finally got film back from the first six weeks of school.
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
My family will be here in an hour and a half! I am a little bit nervous. How much can change in six weeks? I know I'm different, but not in ways that will matter. My sister is going to stay in the dorm with me tonight, and then I'm staying in the hotel with my family tomorrow night. I'm so excited. I can't wait to see Becca. She writes me the best letters: they're comprised of completely random observations and sound just like the way she talks. And now we'll finally get to talk in person again. I've missed my parents, too.

There are also about sixteen people right here in Richmond whom I sadly have to miss--and they're so close by, too: I'm no longer consistently with my beloved four-year-olds at work. It makes me very, very sad. I miss them and I feel like they're growing distant from me. Even if I get to go in there for part of the time, it's not the same as spending six hours a week completely devoted to one set of children. I no longer even know which classroom I'm supposed to go to first; I've been helping in four different rooms this week. I'm trying to get to know all the other kids so I can feel connected to them, too, but I honestly think that the kids I like the most are the original bunch that I got so close to. I don't want them to forget me or start to feel like I'm not someone they can count on simply because I'm not in control over where I can be each day of work. I had such hopes, too. I felt like I was really getting to know some of the kids extremely well, and I had all these ideas for how I wanted to help certain trouble makers and build up their confidence.

Oh oh oh! I bought a box of fortune cookies at LoBill's! I put them in a little bowl on top of the fridge so visitors to the room can get a fortune. My first fortune says, "A visit from a friend, some travel and pleasure." That can vaguely be related to family weekend, I guess. And I'm going home for fall break soon...and hopefully Kristen (and others?) will be visiting me in a couple of weeks.

I'm going to go finish cleaning my room so my sister will have a nice floor to sleep on. Then I'm going to watch Eternal Sunshine... in the Wilson Lobby because Emma bought the DVD! I love that movie. It'll be good to pass the time.
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