Jun. 24th, 2004

love

Jun. 24th, 2004 11:30 pm
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
Our cat is going to be put to sleep tomorrow morning at 11:15. Right now it's 11:11 p.m. The thought that he has twelve hours left on this earth is so awful to me.

Today we found out that a tumor in his chest is the reason he hasn't been able to eat and is wasting away. His breathing is already a struggle, so it's good that we relieve him of his suffering before he's really in agony. It's just so hard. Daniel is the best cat in the world. His full name is Daniel Webster Striped-Tiger Emmett Kitty-Cat J----, a name that evolved over the nearly twelve years of his existence. (I think he's had the same number of names for at least eight years, though.) I love him so much. He is the proverbial "scaredy-cat" yet full of personality and fun and silly and absolutely wonderful. My mom has this "voice of Daniel" that she often uses to "speak" for him. He sounds like a country gentleman. Through my mom, he used to call me his Valentine. I don't care how crazy it seems, I'm crazy about this cat and he will be gone so soon. My mom read us this book that she got when she thought my cousin's cat was going to die (that cat recovered). The book is Cat Heaven. It's a beautiful picture book outlining the perfect heaven fantasy for cats. I honestly believe it. I cried so much. I found out he was this sick right before I had to go to work; my mom tried to avoid coming home from the vet with him before I'd left for work, but she ended up pulling into the driveway right when my sister and I got home from Walmart. I could tell she'd been crying so we ended up talking about it and the three of us sort of freaked out--crying, etc. (my dad was at work, though he went to the vet with Mom.) It was horrible. It was good I had to work for so long because I got my mind off of things. On my dinner break, I returned a phone message from Daniel (the human). It was good to talk with him about it...then I called Kristen since last year she had to have her dog, Murphy, put to sleep. It helped to talk to her. I love my friends. When I got home tonight I just pet him and laid next to him and whispered to him for a long time.

I know we are doing the right thing, and I am so happy Daniel will become whole and healthy again. But it's going to be really hard not to have him around here anymore. I am really scared about tomorrow morning.


(2002)

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