Jan. 2nd, 2004

sidewalksparkle: (ha ha)
During the daylight hours I did virtually nothing, which was depressing until I took a shower. (Somehow feeling clean and doing nothing is better than feeling sloppy and doing nothing). Then I went to Shiva's house to take care of Pookie, which I am doing till her dad gets home. I brought her a kitty treat from my own cat's supply and she took it from my hands with her mouth. It makes me so happy that Pookie does not hate me. I guess I've taken care of her enough that she understands I am the reason she eats when her family is gone. Shiva's dad called yesterday and I found it very funny to listen to a grown man talk about someone named "Pookie."

Tonight my sister and I went to eat soup at Panera and then to see Peter Pan. I enjoyed Peter Pan so much. If I were ten years old, I would probably lie awake at night dreaming about it. (I want to say "daydreaming," but it would be "nightdreaming," only while awake.) I think the fact that Mr. Darling and Captain Hook are played by the same person is great. And even though Tinkerbell's strange noises irritated me to no end, the "I believe in fairies" sequence was fantastic.

When we got home, I watched the first six episodes of "Cheers"--I got the DVD for my birthday and am only now getting around to watching it. I hadn't seen any of the earliest episodes (even though I've seen a lot from the Diane years, it seems that Nickelodeon often plays episodes from the Rebecca years--at least, they did back when they played "Cheers" at all) and they were a lot of fun. I laughed out loud when Diane said to Carla, "You're a bitter little person, aren't you?" Then I watched the pilot episode of "The West Wing" with my dad. He'd gotten the DVD for his birthday and was just getting around to watching too. I'm not used to all this watching, but I really like it.

Then I realized in a flash that I hadn't registered for the PROFILE yet and that (I think) Northwestern required registration by January 1. By this time, it was 50 minutes into January 2, but not by the Illinois time zone. So my dad stood behind me while I hurriedly went through the registration process. Why does every college-related thing I do with my dad (other than the Kenyon visit) have to be so tense? I think we both somewhat secretly feel like we don't know what we're doing and as a result we lose all patience. But the stubborn part of me insists that he loses patience first. I can't even remember what was the matter. (Maybe the fact that I waited until 1 a.m.?) I have a great relationship with my parents but there is always so much tension over college stuff. I get so stressed out and have little miniature meltdowns. Maybe they don't know how to respond but I feel like waving my hands around and screaming "HELP ME!" Then I realize that there isn't anything for them to help with. I just need to remember to breathe on a regular basis, etc.
sidewalksparkle: (Ms. Dickinson's graceful fingers)
Vincent van Gogh's last words were "Sadness will last forever." I know this because I read the biographical information included with the small van Gogh calendar I bought at Borders today (50% off). I used my gift card from Daniel--I also bought The Fellowship of the Ring so I can begin to relieve myself of the guilt of movie-love and book-ignorance.

Anyway. Sadness will last forever. But so will a lot of other things, Vincent.

Why is this wet overcast day depressing me? I love rain. I love dark days. I think I'm feeling school's looming presence. I like so many parts of school--my dread of going back is limited mainly to Calculus (my already-hazy memories of Calculus kinda make me want to dive into a black hole, but I think I'll survive) and to getting up early and to remembering a million things at once and to blah, blah, blah I'm whining pathetically. I'm nervous I'm not going to have time to (start and) finish my self-directed study, mat other images, and make my digital portfolio in the four days I'll have in Photo after break is over. Actually, I'm definitely not going to have enough time. I don't want to do things haphazardly, so I'm probably going to have to find extra time somehow.

Tonight should be fun. That means, "I bet tonight will be fun." It also means, "In a properly spinning world, tonight ought to do the right thing and be fun." I'm a lucky, self-pitying American and I need it.
sidewalksparkle: (darling)
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