May. 30th, 2004


May. 30th, 2004 10:21 am
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
I want to scream at life sometimes. (I won't write about it here, no time or energy.)

This is graduation day. I am sick. For the past three days, my cold has been getting progressively worse. If I could shower every thirty minutes and drink hot beverages constantly, I'd be fine. I don't feel so terrible, but I feel sort of whiny and sad about the fact that I'm graduating from high school today and I feel about a thousand miles away from where I actually am because my head is foggy and I can't breathe and my voice is raspy (not sexy-raspy, gross old man raspy).

The weekend has been fun. (I think) my party went well...Mrs. Gedney, the boys I babysit for, lots of my friends, and some family friends came so I was happy. My party started relatively early, so I felt pretty good at that point. I also felt good towards the end of the evening, when I had Excedrin in my system (caffeine and pain relief, hurrah).

The parties have been a good time. I felt really bad because I realized at 5:20 that time had gone really fast and I didn't have any time to go to Carolyn's because the party would have been over by the time I arrived. I did a similar thing with Lauren's, except the party was fifteen minutes past being over when I realized I still needed to go there. It's because I end up wanting to stay longer everywhere...I like looking around and seeing who the people are that my friends know. There was this nice moment at Athurva's party when twilight was kind of beginning and I was eating a fortune cookie and joking around with people and there were all these little pockets of people everywhere and a little tent with lights and it felt more like something "big" than anything else has so far this weekend.

I can't believe today is the day. It doesn't feel like anything, but I think the pit of my stomach knows. It'll be harder to actually move away and to watch my friends move away than to go through this ceremonial time, but I still have no way of gauging my reaction in advance. All I know is, it's a good thing I don't have to go to work tomorrow. There are a couple parties, but I may skip out on all but Nikhil's and just recuperate.

There are lots of good things on the horizon; I just need time to think and get better. I am really excited about the third "Harry Potter" movie because Book 3 is my favorite of the series so far and I didn't like the first two movies very much and I'm glad there's a new director. I think my sister and I are going to go; we might go one of the weekend nights (Saturday or Sunday) because I don't work either of those nights. Maybe we'll get some friends from our respective groups of friends together. Or maybe we'll go just the two of us. Either way, it'll be fun.

On Tuesday, I start the summer of long hours at work. I'm actually excited. I know how nice it is to get a substantial paycheck, and with college less than three months away I want more of them. And summer and ice cream and chatting it up with the regulars and giving cute little kids sprinkles is such a pleasant combination.

Time for church.

a fog

May. 30th, 2004 01:17 pm
sidewalksparkle: (Default)
I feel like the last entry I write before becoming a graduate should be non-whiny.

This is the strangest day ever!

A common sentiment seems to be a fear of crying during the ceremony. I share it. Crying is always a surprising thing. It's always unexpected. I barely cried at a funeral once, but I lost it during Big Fish. It doesn't always make sense.

There's so much to do, but if I get going, it means this is happening. Whoa.


sidewalksparkle: (Default)

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